After the much talked about Superbowl 2020, I got to thinking about how New Year’s resolutions may be starting to fade away for many of us by this time. I really started to think about why we make these New Year’s resolutions and why change is so hard. We all have things to improve on, be it to exercise, eat better, pray more intentionally, spend time with family, engage in self-care, stop smoking or stop drinking, and on and on. Do you ever wonder why we get stuck doing the negative things, our bad habits? Even though we know we should do better, we struggle and find ourselves stuck in a rut.
For most of us, we set our New Year’s resolution and start of really strong during the first month of the year. We have paid for that gym membership, so we better start going, right? I remember the year that I paid for a gym membership and went something like two or three times. I fell off really quick that year! I was reading up on habits and decision making after thinking about writing this post, and I was really interested in the triggers that are associated with our habits. “Triggers” is such a buzz word these days, but basically things that occur prior to our action and cause us to have a memory (not all memories are vivid images either) of something. For both our good habits and bad habits there are triggers associated with what we chose to do. So, how do we then go from what we were doing that was the bad habit to change things to a become a better self?
Just like with our bad habits, our good habits will require some kind of trigger or antecedent. Let’s think about the 2020 Superbowl for a minute. Football, lots of food, a crowd of certain people, and this crowd of certain people may behave and make certain choices are all the triggers or antecedents. If you had decided to stop drinking or stop drinking too much this past New Year’s then you may have been triggered by the football game, because you always drank cold brewskies while watching and cheering on your team. Or, let’s say you wanted to eat healthier this year, and you were at a party that served up some amazing food… you got it, triggered again. Here is one more example, if the New Year’s resolution you set was to stop gossiping about others, and you were around your best friends during the party and this is typical behavior in your friend group, you had a trigger to engage in that unwanted habit of yours. Now that we have lots of examples of what can trigger our negative habits, let’s try out some possible triggers for positive habits and making change really happen.
Just like the negative habits, your desired or replacement habits are going to need some antecedents. So, how can you trigger yourself into doing what you really want to do now? You can change your environment around, you can set things out where you will see them, you can add things in your calendar at certain times of day, you can have friends support you and hold you accountable, and you can pair new things with your old triggers. Let’s say that you want to start taking a multi-vitamin but you are having trouble remember to take it each day. You could try any of the above ways to get that trigger. For example, you could change the environment by setting the pill bottle out on the breakfast table (if safe to do so for those in the home). You could try setting a reminder on your alarm clock when you first wake or having a family member who already takes one a day to ask if you have had yours yet. If you brush your teeth upon waking, you could set the pill bottle by your tooth brush (if safe again). There are lots of ways to set the scene so that you can be successful with adding on new and positive habits. Good luck in 2020 as you make those positive changes!