We have all joked about 2020 because “it is better to laugh than to cry” but I don’t think we all realized that what started at the beginning of the year was going to carry on over to the next school year. I work with quite a few parents that have children in school, and they are not happy about the virtual school or school at home option! These parents are feeling stressed out because their kids are difficult. That’s right, some kids are just more difficult than others. Some kids are very strong-willed (which can be a positive quality but not when it comes to not wanting to do the school work), have big feelings and behaviors, have experienced traumas that cause a lot of difficulty when it comes to the academics. These kids often have special needs, be it attention or learning disabilities or other cognitive limitations that hinder the ability to watch a lesson, practice it, and master that skill. The parents of these kids are really struggling right now, and they are wondering how they will survive this school year. If you find yourself feeling like this parent right about now, then this blog post is for you!
- Time for school- First of all, know that you don’t have to do school at home. While you may be given times by the school to be logged in to the platform they are using for the synchronous part of the lesson, the asynchronous learning times of the day can be flexible. It is better for you to work with your child during the time of day that they are going to be most engaged than to struggle through the whole day. If they do their best while eating lunch, then that can become the time to practice those lessons. For reading assignments, consider what time of day will they best be able to focus. Does this need to be first thing in the morning before their attention goes other places or does it need to be at the end of the day after they are tired and have done all the other things they had on their mind? Can you do this in the bed together and incorporate it into your bedtime ritual?
- Home is home, not a classroom- I think desks are cute and charts on the walls make me happy, but you don’t need to turn your home into the school. Don’t stress on purchasing items that you don’t necessarily need. You are going to have enough to do just by monitoring your child’s completing their assignments. You have a kitchen table, and if that location is too distracting for the child, put them on a couch in a living room. If they are responsible enough to work in their room or another room that is distraction free, try that. You may be spending a few hours helping your child learn, so make sure the location is comfortable for you and that you will be able to focus as well.
- Understanding Responsibility- This is touchy, I know. As a parent, I can relate to feeling the pressure of wanting your child to succeed and do well. However, a child learning from his own mistakes will make for very success in mastery. When a child seems to be ambivalent about learning and getting the work load completed, it can be very frustrating. We can get trapped in a tornado of thoughts that are futuristic and catastrophic, which do no good at all. But, allowing our child to experience their own consequences and learn from them will help create on outlasting success skill for your child.
- Self-care is essential- As a parent who works full-time and has home-schooled two children with different special needs, I know the amount of stress it puts a parent under. If the parent, who is also the teacher or even the learning coach, is super stressed out, it is going to pour out into that home classroom! It will spill right on over and that does no one any good. I urge you to take care of yourself first, even if it is just ten minutes in the morning in prayer or meditation and ten minutes at the end of the day in a hot bath. There may be ways to incorporate healthy eating and exercise or stretching into the school routine at home, benefiting you and the kiddo. Haven’t you heard, “If Mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”?
- Cut back the tech. I know, this sounds crazy when the kids will be using so much time on tech just to get in the classwork. But, there have been numerous studies done- go google it right now- on how exposure to tech and social media impacts children (and adults). So, make that plan of when things need to be done by tech and then re-charge with out the tech. Maybe play board games together (they teach so many educational and life skills!) or go outside for a walk or bike ride together. Time in nature seems to do some good grounding. Cook together, but walk away from the constant input of immediate gratification and screen time.
- Find ways to get socialization for everyone. Unless you, your child, or someone in your family is at high-risk, find a way to get some socialization in by following safety measures. You need to talk to other adults and your kids need to see other kids. If you have a large family, no problem. If you are raising a single child and stuck in the same place together twenty-four seven, you might both be on edge already! Find opportunities in your area that allow you to be safe. If you are at high-risk find virtual opportunities.