Working with Grief

Even though grief is an experience that no one wants to go through, it is something that everyone will eventually.  Grief is always hard, but sometimes it is also complicated.  Sometimes people can get through the tough experiences with their natural supports and skills they have already.  However, sometimes people need more help with their grief experiences.  Sometimes they need help getting unstuck.  There are ways a therapist can help.  When working with a child or adult who has complicated or traumatic grief, there are certain things a therapist will likely do to help.  First, a therapist will provide grief psychoeducation.  While the stages of grief are well known, sometimes it helps if the client understands that there is no normal process of going through the stages as everyone experiences them differently.  It also helps for children and adults to work through the variety of feelings and thoughts they are having as well.  Secondly, the therapist will likely help the client with resolving ambivalent feelings about the deceased.  While this is often very difficult, for various reasons, it is necessary to identify both things that will be missed and things that won’t be missed.  Someone experiencing grief may also be grieving things that might have occurred in the future but now they know will not.  A therapist may help the client anticipate loss reminders or trauma reminders.  Another aspect of processing grief that the therapist will likely assist with is preserving positive memories of the deceased. The therapist will likely have many activities that he or she can use with the child, adult, or with the entire family.  Lastly, the therapist will help their client to redefine the relationship with the deceased as well as committing to the present relationships.  This is a difficult thing for those suffering from complicated grief, as they may feel that moving on is a betrayal to the deceased.  Sometimes grief is more than what a person can cope with on their own, and when this is the case, a therapist can help.

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